Viagra

Now useful for gathering intelligence.

Karaoke Gone Wrong

He must have made a VERY poor song choice.

Looking Good

I always knew my wife liked a man in candycane-striped tights.

Addicts "R" Us

I may have misspoke...Today may have brought out more crazies than yesterday did:

1) We had one lady come in with a prescription for Oxycontin. She then essentially demanded that we give her a couple of tablets immediately to take because she was in withdrawal and couldn't wait the 15 minutes until we actually had her prescription filled. We proceeded to fill the prescription as we normally would whereupon she came up to the counter and again demanded that we give her some to take "right now." I finally had to lose my cool a little bit with her...I essentially told her there was a process to filling the prescription and they were not her tablets until I had finished that process.

2) We had a lady come in with a prescription for a medication called Flagyl. It's a medication used to kill a variety of different "bugs" including parasites like giardia and trichomonas. When I'm ringing her up and counseling her about taking it, she proceeds to say, "Not only did my ex-fiance leave me pregnant, but he also left me with something else." Nice...Like I (or anyone) needed to know that.

Ahhhhh....Sunday In The Pharmacy

There's just nothing like working a Sunday in the pharmacy. I don't quite understand it, but the ratio of irrational to rational people increases incredibly. Just a couple of examples that all happened just during today's shift:

1) A lady calls me and asks me what manufacturer of Morphine we have because "She has to have the little pink oblong tablets, and no other Morphine will work for her."

2) 75% of the prescriptions we filled were for Lortab.

3) A patient was traveling into town and had forgot her medication. She then asked if I could just "give her a few" to get her by until she got home. When I told her that I could not unless I could contact her home pharmacy and get the prescription transferred, she got angry, told me her home pharmacy was closed, and then hung up on me.

4) Another patient called and claimed she needed an early refill on her Ativan "because I'm moving and I packed it and can't find it."

Always a joy working the weekend.

Oh, Honey...What's That Fragrance You're Wearing?

Eau de Burger King

And, whatever you do, do NOT visit this website and click to "spray" the bottle 4 times.

Cyanide-Producing Millipedes

Perhaps some species are better left undiscovered.

Only 30 Years To Go

Do you ever wake up and realize that you really hate your job today and don't want to go? And, then you are comforted by the fact that you only have 30 years or so before you can retire? It's a great feeling, isn't it?

Generally, I enjoy being a pharmacist. But, I'm realizing more and more just how much I hate being a manager. And, being a manager wouldn't even be so bad, but my fellow pharmacist is a 65 year-old adult-child who has been placated and coddled his entire career and has never had anyone put their foot down in regards to his antics. Let me just tell you...It's a lot of fun dealing with him.

Fox Urine?

When plain old water just won't cut it.

Happiness Is A Trap Snapping Shut

We have mice...Yee Haw! A couple of weeks ago we heard some scurring in a wall in our loft. Then, we started noticing some droppings under the kitchen sink and in our pantry. Shortly after that, my wife came face-to-face with one in our pantry...the announcement of which you would think would have scared all the mice out of house, but no luck.

So, being a manly man, I headed to Home Depot and bought traps, glue boards, poison, and a flame thrower. I proceeded to place all of the above items around the house. Each day, I would carefully check the traps much like you would check a closet for a serial killer...namely I'd throw the door to the pantry open and then jump back just in case the mice had mobilized and mounted an offensive.

After about 2 weeks of this, we hadn't caught anything. One night I got looking closely at the glue boards and noticed little paw prints all over them. Apparently when the box states that mice will stick to them, they don't actually mean mice will stick to them.

I was telling my father-in-law about not being able to catch anything, and he instantly said, "Chocolate. Works every time." I had been using peanut butter, but figured I couldn't do any worse, so I placed a little piece of chocolate in the middle of the glue boards and in the traps. I go back and check the traps after about an hour and discover that the chocolate in the glue traps has all been chewed on, but the mice still aren't sticking to it. Then, finally, just as I was about to fall asleep last night, I hear "snap". Sweet music to my ears. I jump out of bed and check the trap under the kitchen sink and there was a dead mouse with its little head snapped shut in the trap. AWESOME!!! I threw it away and rebaited the trap and there was another dead one in it this morning. Two down, and hopefully not too many to go.

Close To Heaven

The DirectTV man came yesterday and hooked up our DirectTV. I've forgotten how much I enjoy T.V. It's been nearly 5 years since we've had anything but an antenna. And, can I just say that a DVR and HD may just be the greatest inventions ever?

Who Knew Hitler Was A BYU Fan?

#347

347...We filled 347 prescriptions today. Just for the sake of easy math, let's say each prescription had 30 tablets or capsules in it (lots have more than that, and a few have less). That's 10,410 tablets and capsules that we counted today. Holy crap!!!

I'm tired now...I'm going to bed.

Merry Christmas To Me

The diseased turtles finally arrived (see "Making Progress...Like Molasses Running Uphill" post below), and MAN, am I EXCITED!!! Here are a few pics of my new set-up/Christmas present. I think it turned out okay for a guy who is all thumbs when it comes to "Do-it-yourselfism".

I got this thing through Amazon.com. They had free shipping along with a free Samsung Blue-ray DVD player. I was a bit nervous purchasing a T.V. off the internet, but it worked out just fine. It was delivered and carried into our house by a freight delivery line. Once I had all my wires routed and the wall mount attached, we put it up on the wall and we were in business.

Our kids love it. My wife was a little worried about the total infatuation with it...the blank stares, blocking out of all other sounds, glazed looks, mouth hanging slightly open, drooling, etc., but she has gotten use to me doing that now. The kids on the other hand just have fun watching Kung Fu Panda on it.

This Just In...

I got this in an e-mail from my bro-in-law. I thought it was too good not to share:

Did you here that after the game on Saturday Max Hall (BYU's quarterback) tried to shoot himself?....But the bullet was intercepted.

Making Progress....Like Molasses Running Uphill

My cables for my T.V. came today. I've never been so excited about wires with special ends on them. I know...it's kind of sad. I proceeded to run them through my wall without a problem other than I soon realized that these aren't nice supple, bendable cables. These cables don't say, "Oh, you'd like a 90-degree bend here to run to the port on your T.V. without enough stress to break your drywall, I'd be happy to do that." No...they say, "Go ahead...try to bend me, sucker!!!"

So, I just ordered 2 additional wires/port savers. They are 8 inches long and a smaller gauge of wire designed specifically to make 90-degree bends and run from the hdmi ports on the backs of equipment to the wiring that runs down the inside of walls.

Initially, I hated to have to wait for more wires out of fear my T.V. would arrive and I wouldn't be able to hook it up. But have no fear....It appears that Amazon strapped my T.V. to the back of 2 diseased turtles in Pennsylvania and sent them on their way to Utah. I keep "tracking" the shipment of my T.V., and it doesn't seem to be going anywhere fast.

BCS Busters

I'm very happy that Utah won, but for more reasons than the usual rivalry feelings. I HATE the BCS. What a sham! It is set up to help and cater to those conferences who feel smug and superior and reinforces an elitist view. And, ultimately it claims to crown a national champion based on some computer program that decides who is the best team. So, anytime a team can bust into the BCS, I love it. Anything that creates havoc and chaos and exposes the BCS for the joke that it is, I love. Therefore, well done Utes. Until the powers that be within the BCS (a.k.a. morons) realize there is no way to crown a true champion without a playoff, we will have to settle for this.

Closing Time...The Perfect Time To Run To The Pharmacy

Why is it that no matter how incredibly long the pharmacy is open, people will still wait until you have the doors shut, lights out, computers shut down, and registers counted out to show up banging on the door with a sob story about how sick they are? Do you really expect me to believe that you just barely realized you were sick and had to run to the pharmacy? If we were open 23 hours each day, I guarantee these people would show up at closing time and want their prescription filled.

It happened not once, but twice tonight....One person shows up 5 minutes after closing, and in the middle of helping that patient, a second person showed up. I guess I can't blame them. What?...We were only open for 10 hours today. I don't know how I could expect them to find some other time rather than 7:05 p.m. to make it down to the pharmacy for their prescription. I'm sure they weren't feeling ill at any other point in the day other than right at our closing time, right? And, of course catering to these people is MUCH more important than spending the few moments I have in the evening with my kids. Are people really this self-absorbed, or do they just not care? Don't answer that...

I Am A Utah Man

Well...Here we are on the eve of another BYU/Utah rivalry game. Please, oh please...I hope the Utes win. It's ironic, but it's in BYU's best interest for Utah to win the game. If Utah wins, they go to a BCS bowl game. And whether they win or lose in the BCS Bowl, each of the teams in the Mountain West Conference get lots of $$$....something like $500,000. Maybe BYU could build a new locker room complete with hymn books and a statue of Captain Moroni that each player must touch on their way out of the locker room onto the field. Sorry...they wouldn't ever do anything that sacreligious, right? Their coach would never compare their new uniforms to the "Title of Liberty" in the Book of Mormon, right? Oh wait...He already did that. BYU players would never make statements such as their "living right on and off the field is what leads to their success," right? Oh...wait again.

Every year when this comes around, I'm reminded of a time a few years back when I was teaching Elder's quorum. The day after a Utah/BYU rivalry football game in which Utah had one, I opened my lesson by saying, "You know, I got up this morning, and I couldn't help but think of what a perfect day this was. The sun was shining, birds were singing, and BYU lost." The next week the Elders' Quorum president actually pulled me aside and told me that my comment was inappropriate and that there were members of the quorum that took such comments very seriously and would be offended.

You gotta love people who can't take a joke.

Anyway...I have to work tomorrow, so I'm going to miss the game. Suck! But, hopefully I can pick it up on the radio. GO UTES!!!!

Shiver Me Timbers

Arrrrgggghhhhhh....It's getting out of control.

Why I Like Golf

Can you imagine an athlete in ANY other sport having the integrity to do this? This golfer realized he had used a golf ball that wasn't on the approved list. He didn't realize it had happened until after his round had ended and he was back at his hotel room. He knew he would be disqualified and lose his ability to play on the tour in 2009. So, what does he do? He turns himself in...

Motorola Cell Phone

Use it, or else you'll be totally dead.

Quote: "(Doctors) said, 'If your cell phone wouldn't have been there, and if it would have hit you straight on, you'd be totally dead,' because that is where my heart is."

This Is Your Captain Speaking

No need to be alarmed, but do we have a passenger on board who knows how to fly a plane?

Disappearing Tools

I swear the same thing happens to tools around my house. One minute they are there, and the next...they've just floated away.

It's Not My Fault. I Just Work Here.

Can someone explain to me why the "unique" side of our society seems to be concentrated in my pharmacy? Or perhaps it's just that my pharmacy brings out the "unique" side in everyone.

On at least 3 different occasions today I had people angry at me because their prescription was EXACTLY the same cost as it was the last time they got it. If we screwed up and ran their prescription through the wrong insurance (such as Bob and Phil's Prescription Drug Coverage and Tractor Repair), then fine...bring it to our attention and we'll fix it. But our computers don't just randomly come up with a new price for kicks and giggles. When I looked back on these patients' profiles, they were being charged exactly the same as they always have. But, they didn't let a little detail like that get in their way of having a little snit and stomping their feet at the register.

Which brings me to my second rant. I have no clue why your copay is what it is. We enter the prescription into the computer, and we enter all the little numbers and letters on the prescription card. Then through some process (I believe it's black magic), our computers talk to the insurance's computer and the insurance's computer gives us the copay and then asks our computer out on a date. That's it...There is no explanation as to the charge. I have NO IDEA why your copay is $2 more this month than it was last month. Call your insurance and ask them. Who knows...Maybe if your lucky you'll get to talk to one of their good-looking computers and you'll have yourself a date for Saturday night.

Tim The Tool Man...

Well...I took the plunge. I just bought a Samsung 52" LCD T.V. Now, I will deal with buyer's remorse for a week or so, and then I'll be happy. It won't actually be delivered for a couple of weeks, so I have some time to get over my moronic quirk of always kicking myself after I purchase something rather than being able to just enjoy it.

Anyway, I got the wall all set up for it tonight. I ALMOST felt like a real man running wires, installing boxes, and cutting drywall. I'm sure my wife was a nervous wreck seeing someone as incompetent as me attacking her drywall with a box cutter.

In reality, it turned out just fine. I just cut the drywall and installed an electrical box into the wall directly below where the T.V. will hang. Now I can run all my wiring from the DVD player, satellite box, etc. up the inside of the wall to the T.V. I'll have to post some pictures once it's all set up.

$5 Should About Cover It

I have the same problem when I try to get patients to take their meds...

Indecision

Please tell me that I'm not the only person who is nearly paralyzed by indecision.

So, here's the situation. The wall in our great room of our new home is wired for a flat-screen T.V. to be hung on the wall. The other night, my wife and I were sitting there staring at the wall after having gotten the kids to bed. We had a fire going, and my wife says, "Wouldn't it be fun to have a great big T.V. hanging on that wall? We could put in a movie and sit here by the fire and enjoy it."

GOLDEN opportunity, right? The kind of permission that every guy hopes for, right? Except I can't FREAKING decide what to buy. I think we've narrowed it down to a 52" LCD after spending the day on Friday looking at them. But this model doesn't have as deep of blacks, and that model tends to blur more in fast motion like sports, this model has more HDMI inputs, and on and on....

The bane of my existence....I suck at making decisions.

You'll have to excuse my friend. He's a little slow...

Okay...So after kicking around the internet for nearly 3 hours, I finally figured out how to put a music player on my blog. I'm a moron...It's now 1 a.m...I hope you enjoy the music.

Speaking of Awesome

This is probably the greatest t-shirt website of all time.

Scorpions and Monkey Pox?

Do parents really need to be told that scorpions are a bad idea as pets for their young children? Apparently so...

Pure Awesomeness

Let's be honest...Disney, DreamWorks, Pixar, etc. are geniuses. I was far more excited for "Kung Fu Panda" to come out on DVD than my kids were. So much so that I went out and bought it last night and had a movie party with my kids. My wife was out of town, so we all camped out on our bed and watched the movie. Of course, 15 minutes into it, both my kids were asleep but that didn't stop me from loving it.

After watching it last night, I changed my tag-line for my profile to something Jack Black says at the first of the movie. And, then I found this demotivational poster....

Let's Get The Ball Rolling

I've always been a bit of a sheep. Everyone else seems to have started a blog, so after deciding that "yes, I would jump off the bridge", I've decided to start my own blog as well. I'm not quite sure what form it will take, but I do like the idea of sharing quirky stories from the pharmacy. We'll see where this takes me....Probably to prison for a HIPAA violation.